When I look at that smile, I can't help but wonder about what kind of man that my boy will turn out to be. Will he be like me? Is that even something that I want? Will he follow in the same mistakes that I made, or will he have different struggles?
All I know is that God has used my children in the past to convict me of my sin. This has driven me closer to God. I would even say that God used the conviction that I felt when Landen was born to save me. By looking at my son and then looking at myself, I realized what type of person I was. I realized that I needed true forgiveness of my sins and that I could not do it myself. I had been trying to be religious for 10 years on my own, but it wasn't working. God used my son to show me a reflection of my sin. I pictured Landen doing the things that I was doing, and I knew that I was in trouble. Only God could make me the father and husband that I needed to be so that Landen would not turn out like me.
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